Rink Plots to Overthrow Van Treese

Mike Rink’s attempt to provide statistically significant evidence that he is the best Statistics teacher

Rachel Mintz, Section Editor

Mike Rink, AP Statistics teacher and Calculus connoisseur, plans murder. His once friendly association with Mike Van Treese, Berkeley’s main statistics teacher, has turned into a tension filled competition to prove which classes will do better on the AP exam. Rink, in an investigation done by The Fanfare, has been suspected of plotting to overthrow Van Treese as the sole AP statistics teacher at Berkeley Prep in a way seemingly incapable of the smiling teacher: murder.  

Just last week on Tuesday, fellow Fanfare writer Sofia Peña ’21walked the halls of the Gries Center only to hear maniacal laughing coming from the Math department offices. When peaking in, she saw a series of statistical equations surrounding a frenzied Rink. In the corner of the whiteboard, she noticed a note: Victim- Van Treese. 

I went to the source. Casually in class, I asked Rink for his opinion on the other statistics teacher. Rink turned to me, a gleam in his eye, and spoke: “Even though Van Treese thinks he’s so great at teaching Stats, I’m 100% positive that he’s at least 50% worse than 25% of my ability.” This is the reason Rink wanted to become Berkeley’s statistics teacher. Out of his love for the Berkeley community and for the students, Rink wanted to provide the community with his teaching ability. However, Van Treese was what stood in the way. The moment he decided that Van Treese must be taken out of the pictures was after Rink met with Berkeley’s administration. Rink, sitting down with the Deans and Headmaster Joe Seivold himself, presented the idea that all math periods would be split into 30 minute sessions. Therefore, he would be able to teach all of his Calculus classes while adding the Statistics classes to his work load. When the administration asked Van Treese his opinion and if he needed any help with the multiplying Statistics classes, he simply said, “No, I can handle it.” 

Now, Rink’s diabolical plan to get rid of Van Treese is about to take action. On pi day, Mr. Rink will invite Van Treese to an exclusive Berkeley math teacher party. Little does Van Treese know that this party will be killer.

VICTIM VAN TREESE: A sighting of Mr. Rink plotting Van Treese’s demise by using a z score test. Photo by Rachel Mintz ’21