Science Teacher Creates New Element?

Students find out what science teachers do behind the scenes

Kaitlyn Mang, Staff Writer

Kyle Sullinger, science faculty member, is quite known in the Berkeley community. However, one day on January 18, a rumor went around saying that he found a new hobby besides teaching. His D-block chemistry class was eager to learn what it is and decided to create a plan. They knew that he always got to class early, so they decided to spy on him before class started. “When I peeked through the door, Mr. Sullinger had his back to the door and he was writing a very complex formula on the board. I couldn’t understand a single thing but at the top he had written ‘Sullingerium’ in big letters” said Makayla Doyle ’23. All the students were puzzled and could not figure out what it meant, until a week later when test day had arrived. 

Everyone was very anxious and trying to study at the last minute, but Sullinger quickly told everyone to sit in their seats because they would need the whole class period to finish the test. While taking the test, the students noticed that one of the short answers talked about ‘Sullingerium’ and whether or not it was a metal, metalloid, or nonmetal. Suddenly it clicked and Dina Kodsi ’23 gasped out loud in the middle of the test. After the test, all the students circled Dina to ask what she had discovered. She quietly told everyone, “Guys I figured out what Mr. Sullinger has been trying to do this whole time. One of the questions was talking about Sullingerium and I think he’s trying to create his own element. Think about it.” 

The students ran to chair of the science department Dr. Nicole Ackerson to tell her what they had discovered. Only to their surprise, Ackerson had the word “Ackersonium” on the top of her board with the same formulas as Sullinger. The students all looked at each other and realized that all the science teachers were working together to create their own elements and have it added to the periodic table. Caught in the act, Ackerson admitted everything, confirming the student’s suspicions. “You know how much I’ve always wanted my own element…and planet…and crater…” says Ackerson. Dina and Makayla look at each other in realization that the science teachers had an even bigger plan.

SULLINGERIUM: Dina Kodsi ’23 and Makayla Doyle ’23 spot Sullinger plotting to create his own element for the periodic table. Photoshop by Kaitlyn Mang