Most have smelt it: the rotten, spoiled yogurt smell of Berkeley’s new disinfecting wipes. The stench is left lingering on student’s pruny hands and soaked tables, waiting for a chance to pounce on the noses of its next victim. Why Berkeley has chosen to use these rotten, yogurt-smelling wipes remains a mystery—that is, up until recently.

After further investigation, the Community Service Council’s affiliation with the Treasure Cove Spirit Shop was recently exposed. Evidence suggests the Treasure Cove planned on funding the council’s project to create a “recycling-machine” for their Seaplane Basin Park Coastal Cleanup. In exchange for the money, the council promised to use yogurt flavored wipes in attempts to advertise for the store’s new yogurt flavors, but with its revolting smell, the plan clearly backfired. 

“I know it was a failure, but it was our only hope,” said council member Rachel Mintz ’21. “We just desperately needed the money, and when the Treasure Cove offered us this deal, how could we say no?”

As ludicrous as the idea sounds, it was not hastily planned. Since the start of online school in March 2020, the Community Service Council had been convertly meeting via Zoom to discuss their business proposition with the Treasure Cove. In each member’s eyes, using the store’s pungent wipes was a small price to pay for the environment, especially since it would get them the funding they needed.

“I was sick of picking up trash myself,” said Klaas VandeGroep ’22, “So when I found out the council was creating a recycling machine, I thought it was absolutely genius.”

It’s no wonder why the Treasure Cove wants to increase their popularity. After making zero sales from their new yogurt flavors, the store decided they needed a unique way to advertise them. The abrupt switch from “Almond Coco-Loco” and “Salted Caramel Crunch” to COVID-19 themed flavors like “Quaran-green Beans” and “Six-Beet Apart” was surely not getting them any customers. 

The council was certainly suspicious of the new flavors and didn’t think advertising yogurt in the form of wipes would work, but they “desperately needed the money.” Unfortunately for them, their suspicions were correct. Though the new wipes did draw a large audience, it was only for student’s pure resentment towards them.

“I hate those things,” said Vinny Sharma ’24, a victim of the store’s disinfecting wipes, “I still can’t get that disgusting yogurt smell off my hands.”

With the new Lysol heavy duty wipes taking over, it is less likely the Treasure Cove got the full advertising they wanted or the Community Service Council received the money they were promised to create their “recycling machine.” For now, Berkeley will have to recycle the hard way during the Coastal Cleanup: strenuously bending down to pick up trash and putting it in the bin.